AFTER MORE THAN 114,000 submissions and a million votes, it is a Wisconsin second-grader who gets to share his pirate dreams with the world.  Do I have to say of course he’s from Wisconsin?

Google hosted a contest for kids, asking them to draw a Doodle — incorporating the company’s logo — that expressed their reply to the question: “If I could travel in time, I’d visit … ”

Today, Google’s home-page features the winning Doodle, titled “Pirate Times,” by Dylan Hoffman of Caledonia, WI. (Hoffman’s artwork renders a pirate as the second “G” in “Google,” a coconut tree as the “L” and a treasure chest as the “E.”)

Hoffman who attends the Prairie School in Racine says that he’d “sail a pirate ship looking for treasure, have a colorful pet parrot and enjoy beautiful sunsets from deserted islands,” according to Google’s official blog.

Google notes that the victorious “Dylan has come into some treasure of his own: a $30,000 college scholarship, a Chromebook computer and a $50,000 technology grant for his school. As an added bonus, Dylan’s doodle will grace the front of a special edition of the Crayola 64-crayon box, available this fall.

AAaaaargh!  That’s better than a treasure chest of gold doubloons!  We always tell people how talented the residents of Wisconsin are and now so did Google.  Three cheers for Dylan! 

RCS is keeping an eye on Dylan as a future member of our design team.  We already have some great employees in our company from Caledonia and we are sure he will fit right in. 

It’s important to note that from a safety perspective he’s already willing to ditch the eye patch.  Apparently he knows that it could be dangerous around the equipment. Maybe he’ll be the first pirate known to wear safety glasses!

RCS on the cover of a Retail Environment magazine and a seven year old from Caledonia designs the Google logo.  Wisconsin talent abounds! 

Last week we even had suggestions of what we should or should not put on our site.  Those are all welcome because it means people read this and are motivated enough to comment.

There are so many incredible projects that we do, but cannot show because they are often covered by Non disclosure Agreements or NDA’s.  There are also things we really don’t want our competition to see.  They should work for their own ideas!

And suddenly along comes one our industries most respected magazine….Retail Environments.  Lo and behold an RCS project is on the front cover! 

Is it fate?  Is it the work of God, Allah, Buddha, Confucius, or some other deity?  I would not venture a guess and offend anybody.  To this I credit the wonderful people at Retail Environments for their brilliant decision to put one of our projects on the front cover and provide details about it.  

To the wonderful team at the magazine we say “Thank you!”  To our team here of Mike, Todd, Krystal, Jill and Abby that worked on design we say “Wow!”  To our Engineering Department and our fellow employees that make things like this possible we say “You are the industry’s finest!”  To our employees that didn’t work on this project but did on all the other fabulous jobs that are covered by those doggone NDA’s…..your day will come.  Count on it.

Naturally, the article is about bright ideas….ours…..and the magazines.

Here’s a teaser photo…..Everybody say “Oooooh!”  Everybody say “Ahhhhh!”

So folks, below are the links you need to see how cool life really is here at RCS and what geniuses rule at Retail Environments.

Here’s a link directly to the RCS page:
http://www.retailenvironments-digital.org/retailenvironments/20120506/?pg=21&pm=2&u1=friend

Also, here’s the link to the digital edition of the full May/June Retail Environments.
http://www.retailenvironments-digital.org/retailenvironments/20120506/?pg=1&pm=2&u1=friend

Finally, to those of you that are a fan or this blog, check out the magazine on a regular basis….it is great.  To those of you that are not a fan of the blog but keep reading and commenting I have to say “Bless you for suffering through each one”.  I think you should also check out this magazine…it will balance out things in your life better than Prozac.

Politics in Mexico.  A super curvy Playboy model named Julia Orayen stole the debate while passing out cards to the panel of presidential candidates.

Candidates were there to debate the failing economy and drug cartel violence, but when the TV audience saw Julia in tight fitting, low cut white dress the social media world went loco!  Ay-yi-yi-yi!

Did you know Cher is still alive?  Well, she is.  She recently went on a Twitter diatribe about Romney.  By the way, a diatribe is not a tribe of two people.

She said she doesn’t want to breathe the same air as Romney and his right wing, racist, homophobic, women hating, tea bagging masters.

Spiteful words from an understanding parent of that loveable little dancing nugget Chaz.  I’m shocked.

I heard she had to use Twitter..…her mouth no longer moves…..nor do her eyes blink.

As you all know, Roseanne Barr is seriously running for President.  I said seriously and that means I MEAN IT!  She is going to be debating with the Green Party candidates on May 12^th in San Francisco…..seriously!

She is for legalizing pot which explains her participation in the “Green Party” debate.  Who’s up for that?

Can you guess who she would like as running mate?  Willie Nelson!  I am serious.  When Willie gets done eating and takes nap, he’s gonna let her know….if he remembers.

Some scientist has come up with a theory that dinosaur farts may have created global warming and caused their extinction.  Extinction…..haha….get it?  Ex-stink-shun.

I know there’s really not enough prehistoric potty humor anymore.  But this was honestly written up in a recent issue in Current Biology.

Speaking of prehistoric potty humor – oh never mind, I already wrote about Cher.

Michael Jackson was so paranoid about his brothers pressuring him to do a Jackson 5 reunion tour (maybe they were broke) that he ordered his bodyguards to shoot his brother Randy.  (He’s the one we all don’t know.)

Former bodyguard Michael Fiddes tells us a bunch of stuff in his tell all book.  He said when Michael was turning colors (like a tree in autumn) he nearly burned off his……ummmmm…… dachshund with bleaching cream.

I wonder if that’s why Whitney Houston broke it off.  Oooooo, bad choice of words.

You know how some Democrats are getting jabs in about Romney’s wealth?  Anybody remember John Kerry?

He’s the guy that ran against George “The Funny Guy” Bush.  Kerry was and still is the wealthiest US Senator (possibly of all time).  Oh yeah and his wife is worth nearly a billion…that’s with a “B”.

Remember Kerry’s running mate?  Good old John Edwards.  There is so much coming out in his trial.  I wonder where’s the ink on him?

The media had a field day with Sarah Palin when she said she could see Russia from Alaska.  The guy is lying, cheating, corrupt piece of trash and media buries this stuff on page six.

Edwards had a fling which resulted in a baby while running for president and used campaign funds to cover it up.  Oh yeah, his wife had cancer at the time.  And don’t forget he tried to have his buddy claim the child was his.  Dirtbag.

Just think, this slimeball was almost a heartbeat away from the presidency.  He makes Clinton look like a saint and Palin look like a genius……and soooo little coverage from media.  Do you wonder why?  I don’t.

Good news for Obama and the Democrats!  Billionaire buddy George Soros is going to give over $100 million bucks to various democratic groups this election year.  Oh yeah, he’s a Wall Street fund manager.  Occupy that!

On the other hand, Oprah’s OWN Network lost about $300 million.  How do you lose that much money?  Heck, I can’t even find that much!  She’ll probably gain weight again.

And Terrell Owens was on “Doctor” Phil lamenting he squandered $80 million and fathered four kids by four women.  I’m sure the “Doc will help him a lot.  I’m sure.

Israel just reorganized and solidified their government.  That sends a pretty strong signal to Iran.  Keep your eyes peeled for stuff to happen in the next few months.

Netanyahu is no dummy and he did that for a reason.  Time will tell what reason is.  Fact is they no longer see the US as dependable ally and may act alone.  A presidential election may be a fine opportunity to do something.  Just saying….

Does anybody else wish our government didn’t let so much stuff leak to the public?  They recently captured a Yemeni involved with the latest in underwear bombs using a double agent!

That is so Bond.  Achmed Hassan Saddiqi Bond.

Point of clarification – an underwear bomb has nothing to do with a thong and Lisa Lampanelli nor does it have anything to do with dinosaur farts.  This is serious stuff.

The latest is made of plastic and may not show up on certain scanners.  Why they are so focused on underwear?

Even if I was going to commit suicide, that’s the last place I’d put a bomb.  And wouldn’t you think it might attract some attention when it looks like you have a sack of potatoes in your pants….and it’s ticking?

Ok, we all saw Urkel impersonating a guy named Jaleel White on Dancing with the Stars.  He couldn’t fool me even without the glasses.

This just in – Rihanna rushed to hospital for exhaustion.  I’ve said this before…take a nap Stupid!  Oddly enough it occurred after a night of extra heavy duty partying.  Shocker!

The Tanning Mom is the Nutso from Nutley NJ that took her 5 year old in to tan with her.  She’s the lady whose body is covered in orange elephant hide and is reportedly suffering from Tanorexia.   A hot new word!

At this time several government agencies are working regulations, statistics, case studies, laws and spray tan alternatives.   The White House is investing $6 billion in this because they consider solving Tanorexia a green project.

The reasoning is that by tanning, she is not wasting the valuable sun rays that could be used by the solar panels made by bankrupt Solyndra.  See everybody wins.  We are green, we’ll have a cure for Tanorexia and employ 25,000 government workers!  Hooray!

And how about that Vinnie Barbarino?  He must still be very athletic in his later years.  Seems he needs a massage pretty regularly.

A lot of detailed accusations have been published, but it’s now surfacing that he was on the opposite coast when one of the alleged incidents occurred.  But we hear there are more allegations to come.

This story will have more legs than a centipede  – no pun intended.  Old Vinnie probably just said “Up ya nose wid a rubba hose” and somebody took it wrong.  Probably.

Better watch out when messing with Travolta….he’s a Scientologist!  He will get Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley (now available in various sizes) and few other Scientologists together and put the Heeba Jeebas on you.

The next thing you know you’re Joe Biden and can’t say anything that makes sense…..it’s horrible what they can do you.  Just dreadful.

Wisconsin consumer advocate Clark Howard is predicting that there is a better than 50/50 chance that gas prices will dip below $3 per gallon and fall into the $2 range this summer.  Last time I got two dollar gas was off the value menu at Taco Bell.  Ever notice how that smell lingers with you better than your most expensive cologne?

Hey hunters!  Here’s a story to keep in your gun sites.  Some places like Skamania County, Washington, have outlawed the killing of a Sasquatch, according to The UnMuseum.com, but Texas apparently has no such decree preventing the hairy creature from being hunted.

The matter came up recently when Oregon-based Bigfoot buff John Lloyd Scharf contacted Texas Parks and Wildlife officials David Sinclair to see if he might have a fighting chance of hunting a Sasquatch without getting busted.

Turns out the way the law is written suggests it’s OK to turn Bigfoot into the biggest, baddest trophy that ever hung above a fireplace.

One key question is whether the legendary monster can be considered exotic under the terms of the law.

“An exotic animal is an animal that is non-indigenous to Texas,” Sinclair told a local network. “Unless the exotic is an endangered species, then exotics may be hunted on private property with landowner consent.”

My God!  This could be bigger than deer hunting season in Wisconsin!  Let’s go Squatching!  And they taste like chicken!

Imagine the bumper stickers – “Gone Squatchin”, “I brake for Squatch”, “Squatch, the other white meat” and “My wife’s a Squatcher”.

Of course PETA would have to have one too.  There’s would have to be “Squatches are People Too”.    And that would be true.

But you know, I have seen some of those hairy beasts at Waterparks and they are always charged full adult price, wear Speedos and speak with an accent.  I cannot understand why there are shows dedicated to looking for them.  Sheesh, just go to a Wisconsin Waterpark in August and you’ll find them easily.

Funniest bumper stick I have seen in a long time – “Urinal cakes are not really cakes”……but I bet it will keep a Squatch fresh!

Finally, I like to cook.  Don’t be surprised if you find an occasional recipe to use for your big outdoor party this summer hidden in one of these blogs.  You’ve been warned…….. 

Yolanda Quesada, 58, from Milwaukee, lost her job answering customer service calls for Wells Fargo Bank for a shoplifting crime she committed in 1972.  At that time Yolanda was fined $50.

She was just notified by the FBI and fired on the spot.  Now I know this all sounds hard to believe, but we have a whole new batch of banking regulations and they just enforced it.

The new law says you cannot have any criminal history if you work at an insured depository.  None, zero, zip.  EVER!

This story got a fair amount of ink and people talked about how unfair it was, but nobody talked about how stoooopid the regulation is.  Anybody with a brain knows that this is wrong.

It’s called overregulation.  No bending, no exceptions, no flexibility?    Isn’t it morally wrong to fire a 58 year old woman for shoplifting forty years ago?  We treat violent criminals better.

Our government just cannot go one second without regulating and monitoring something.  Check this out…..

The Washington bureaucracy churns out a mere 80,000 pages of regulations annually.  We all know that sometimes it includes really important things like telling us what kind of light bulbs to use.

You know, it’s the ones that are energy efficient and make you look sick but you cannot dispose of them without a permit and valid ID?  It’s more complex and regulated than voting.

And they also regulate the huge issue of farm dust.  Kerchooo!

Well, on page 56,236 of the 2010 regulations there is a requirement that hotels that have pools and hot tubs must install lifts or ramps for the handicapped….on all their pools and tubs.  The cost is about $40,000 per pool or tub.  The fine is $50,000 per pool or tub.  I wonder, is that even good for a wheelchair?

Nevertheless, it will be interesting when the grace period runs out and the law is fully implemented.  Then they will need more safety regulations after somebody gets electrocuted operating one or caught in one and drowns.

I’m all for the handicapped having access if they want it, but is this a real issue?  Did they protest and I missed it?

How many of the pools and tubs will become cemented over and used for – I dunno, roller blading maybe?  What is next, water parks without water?  Even if this offends you where does it stop?

Oh yes, genius laws aren’t just the job of the feds, the Massachusetts Department of Public Health outlawed bake sales at schools.  They say the kids are fat enough already.

Don’t tell the mean old witch from Hansel and Gretel that or she’ll be there in a flash to eat those little chubby kids from Boston!  We’ll call them the “Boston Big Bites”!

Those regulators must have gotten wind that by 2030 it is projected that over 42% of Americans will be obese.  And 11% will be at least 100 pounds overweight.  That’s called morbidly obese.

This means skinny people have 18 years to fatten up or they’ll be discriminated against.  Then the government will probably mandate that everybody eat at least 4,000 calories a day and give us vouchers for free bacon cheese burgers and fries.  Just watch!

And if a candidate comes along and says we’re too fat and wants to get rid of the bacon cheeseburger vouchers, the supertankers will all show up in their Hoverounds and protest.

Just think, by 2030 there will be no regular parking either……it will all be handicap parking.  We supertankers will need loading zones.

Don’t go getting all huffy and puffy now.  I’ll be well into my 80’s by then and likely look like Jabba the Hut and have my own tricked out Hoveround!

And here’s another thing that’s going to generate another government regulation.  Lord knows I could not make any of this stuff up.  Patricia Krentcil, 44, of Nutley (yes, Nutley), NJ pleaded not guilty to child endangerment charges after authorities said she allowed her then-5-year-old daughter to burn in a tanning salon last month.

The now famous “Tanning Mom” whose rugged leather like skin is a deeply burnished copper orange color has even been the subject of a Saturday Night Live spoof.  She has also started the “Battle of the Burnt Orange Chicks” with Snooki.

It all started when she referred to Snooki as Snoopy.  Snooki was outraged and replied that she was not a tall thin black rapper.  The ditzy Tanning Mom replied she was not referring to Snoopy Dog Dog.

Snoop Dog put out a statement through his spokesperson that said, “Hey man, leave me out of dis frizzle shizzle. I just want to be Roseanne Barr’s campaign manager and those orange ladies from New Jersey should just leave me A-lone”.   Zzzzzzzz.

Speaking of breaking it off, those Europeans are rebelling again.  In Greece, there is virtually no government.  The European Union imposed strict austerity measures to keep the country from financial collapse.

But the voters still want supersized government perks!  They voted everybody out of office and the big winners were the radical fringe elements like the Communist Party!  Lots of riots and demonstrations in their future.

It could spell the beginning of the end for the European Union and send financial markets crazy.  That’s a big deal.

They want to keep their retirement age at 60, short workdays, pensions and state sponsored benefits….of course there is no money for any of that but they still want it.

They are suffering the effects of a Supersized government hangover.  But don’t worry, there’s a group over there organizing a movement called Occupy the Parthenon.

I’m sure they will solve all their issues too.  Old hippies and kids smoking pot carrying cardboard signs always improve the quality of life……don’t they?

France voted out President Sarkozy.  He’s being replaced by a Socialist who promised the citizens they do not have to give up any of the social programs the country can no longer afford.  He’s going to keep the government Supersized!

He claimed he will “Steeeemulate ze economy”.  We all know that always works and does not contribute to their debt problem.  Those stimulus plans nearly eliminated our debt…..ooops, no it didn’t.

He’s going to pay for it with bake sales because they haven’t outlawed those in France yet.  Eeeeez a zheenius! His winning campaign slogan was ”Croissants for Cash!”  Oui!

Here’s our take aways.  Unsustainable debt is a foolhardy way to run a country.  Socialism is fine during good times because the money is flowing in.  It’s a disaster in bad times.

It’s also a bad way to run a business.  Look at General Motors.  They had to be bailed out.

Nobody can bail out Greece if they keep spending.  Same for France.  And they are the second biggest economy in Europe.  They are not a company……their a lot bigger.

Certainly nobody can bail out the United States.  China is done buying the bonds we were selling to finance our debt.

Everybody is raving about the new profit numbers from GM.  They are good.  But the company was gutted and pensions and benefits slashed or dissolved.

That’s what they were trying to do in both France and Greece….but the people said no.  I cannot conceive of what will happen when they find there is nothing left to fund their extravagant government benefits.  This country is not far behind.

The communists, socialists and radical groups cannot deliver a thing.  Absolutely nothing.  Demonstrations do not pay off debt.  Demonstrations do not spur economies.

Like it or not, business growth spurs economies.  People working pay taxes and that relieves debt.  It’s simple addition and subtraction.  It’s not political at all.    Even opinions don’t count.  Yours or mine.

It’s like driving a car on a hot summer day with air conditioning on. The car runs out of gas and stops.  The vents eventually blow hot air.  All the screaming and demonstrating and yelling isn’t going to make it cooler.

The car cannot make it cooler without the engine running and that takes gas.  The stupid people in Europe are sitting in the car complaining about the air and refuse to put gas in the damn car!

You can’t drive a car like that, you can’t run your business like that, and you can’t run a state or country like that.

And when is enough government enough?  Layering regulation upon stupid regulation is busy work.  It makes it harder to run our lives, a business, a state and a country……and it’s so very costly.  It also sucks a ton of gas.  About $15.7 TRILLION bucks worth in this country.

It’s a sad state of affairs when people think the government can run their lives better than they can.  It speaks to how lazy and weak we’ve become.

Our government does not make money. It takes money.  It never makes a profit.  The last two administrations continuously increased the size of government and the debt along with it.

Both parties contributed to it and are responsible.  It has gotten out of control and has become Supersized.  It is morbidly obese…..just like a whole bunch of us are.

It’s time to put gas in the car and quit complaining that the air doesn’t work.  Millions in this country have to get off their…….leather seats and get to work and chip in for gas.  That’s something that doesn’t apply to the rich only.

This government and our leaders have to explain the car and air conditioner story honestly.  The public has to be told that China has been towing us and the weather has been mild.

We are lucky it’s not as hot here as it is in Greece and will be in France.  It could get there if we aren’t careful.

Our government needs to go on a diet and many of our citizens need some exercise.  It’s time to downsize or get out and push…..really push.

Among those tax holidays due to run out are the Bush-era cuts that would push the
bottom rate of income tax from 10 to 15 percent and the top rate from 35 to 39.6
percent. Hey 99% ers get ready to suck it up!

But that’s not all. The child tax credit will be halved from $1,000 to $500, the
marriage penalty will return, the tax on dividends will go up nearly threefold and the
alternative minimum tax will hit around 34 million taxpayers.

“Almost the entire tax code has been put on a year-to-year lease, and in some cases,month-to-month lease, which is no way to run a tax system,” Scott Hodge of the Tax Foundation said. “No American will be unscathed.”

Except the 50% that pay absolutely zero taxes! I think they get candy and Red Bull.

The ever-churning machine that is the Internet is pumping out more unfiltered digital
data all the time. Yesterday, 250 million photos were uploaded to Facebook, 864,000
hours of video were uploaded to YouTube, and 294 billion emails were sent.

That’s not counting all the check-ins, friend requests, Yelp reviews and Amazon posts,
and pins on Pintrest. And that was just to get that little non-event together for Occupy
Wall Street Urchins on May 1st. All that work for nothing.

Anybody really understand that group? They are anti small business, anti big business,
anti profit, anti global, anti free enterprise and anti wealthy.

Really, who can go protest like that for weeks and months? How do they pay their
bills? Either they are on the dole, supported by Mom and Dad or a paid attendee.
Of course there are still some of those long grey haired pony tail Woodstock types
hanging around….as you know, I like to refer to them as the Left Odors.

I have a suggestion that would make all of them happier and America a better
country…. Move their butts to one of the following locations where none of that stuff
exists: Afghanistan, the Republic of the Congo, Somalia, Burundi, Niger, Eritrea,
Zimbabwe or any similar place. There they can live as one.

There is no business, no money and no greed. Perfect! Fools don’t even know or
appreciate what they have.

Got Gas? El Presidente said recently, as he has before, that “the problem is we (the
US) use more than 20 percent of the world’s oil and we only have 2 percent of the
world’s proven oil reserves.”

“Even if we drilled every square inch of this country right now, we’d still have to rely
disproportionately on other countries for their oil,” Obama said, while pitching a plan
to crack down on oil market speculators.

But a U.S. Geological Survey released last week paints a seemingly different picture.
The analysis showed the world outside of the U.S. holds 565 billion barrels of
undiscovered conventional oil — it was the first such study in 12 years.

The study did not address U.S. resources, but a prior analysis by the Energy Information
Administration pegged the country’s supply at 198 billion barrels. That works out to 26
percent of the world’s supply.

It’s ok if he makes those kinds of mistakes….he’s a rock star…..and he says pit bulls are
delicious.

A prominent U.S. Catholic nuns group said it was “stunned” that the Vatican
reprimanded it for spending too much time on poverty and social justice concerns and
not enough on abortion and gay marriage.

Someone at the Vatican has a little too much time on their hands. And you know the
old saying that “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”. Evidently, that is historically true.
Evidently.

Two lawsuits filed in Los Angeles recently against the founding family of the religious
Trinity Broadcasting Network allege that televangelists Paul and Jan Crouch have
spent well over $50 million of worshippers’ donations on “personal” expenses,
including 13 “mansions,” his-and-hers private jets, and a $100,000 mobile home for
Mrs. Crouch’s dogs.

The jets are necessary, the Crouches’ lawyer told the Los Angeles Times, because the
Crouches receive more death threats than even the president of the United States.
Anybody surprised? Some poor little old lady sends a $100 for God’s work and Jan’s
Pooch’s get $100,000 RV!

Allegedly, the Crouches keep millions of dollars in cash on hand, but according to their
lawyer, that is merely out of obedience to the biblical principle of “owing no man
anything.” That includes a reasonable explanation and taxes. Does anybody else hope
that Paul and Jan’s ivory tower falls over with Paul and Jan still in it?

These two are gonna end up in jail and a very warm location for some time….and I’m
not talking about a condo in Palm Springs!

Things that never end – Mel Gibson’s rants, Kardashian Krap, Obama’s campaigning on
our dime and Jessica Simpson’s pregnancy.

Oooops, scratch that. Jessica just gave birth to a three year old weighing about 31
pounds with long blond hair that can dress herself and knows the alphabet.

Did you know that Our Campaigner in Chief has had almost 200 fundraisers for his
re-election? Did you know that is more that George W, Clinton, Bush Sr, Reagan
and Carter combined? No wonder nothing gets done in DC, he’s out partying all
the time….on your dime in Air Force One most of the time. Yup, we underwrite his
fundraisers!

OMG, rumor is trickling out that Michael Jackson had a serious fling with Whitney
Houston. They were the two biggest pop stars in the world at that time. The guy that
is writing the tell all book says Michael was heterosexual. Stupid fool even says Jackson
was black. Until he got that teeny little pinched nose, I thought he was one of the
Supremes.

And Ron Paul is still running for Republican Presidential nomination. He’s sitting on the
fence not endorsing Mittens. I think the fence is called the 7-9% fence because that’s
where Paul has been sitting since he stared in the race.

The stunning and very rich Duchess of Alba (a mere 85) is still going strong with her 61
year old boy toy. Her children fear the guy was in it for the money so he had to sign
away his rights to her fortune.

Maybe she is wild and crazy when the lights go dim…..that’s also when she looks her
best. I hope she is having the time of her life.

Well we can all know what to give people for prank gifts this coming year….Octomom!
Seems the poor gal is broke and filing for bankruptcy. She is also going to make a porn
video to help support her kids.

Before everybody goes “TRASH!” just remember how many politicians, movie stars,
athletes and celebrities plus neighbors did the same thing. In fact many either started
their careers with one or ended their careers with one. I’m just thinking after fourteen
kids the title should include the word Buick in it.

Charlie Sheen is suing a New York Strip Club for naming one of their VIP lounges after
him. I don’t get it….who would want to name a VIP room “Drooley Fooley”?

Ok, and some billionaire dude wants to build the Titanic II. Yes, he wants it to look a
lot like the old one only not under water and wrecked. I want to do that and fly in the
smoking section of the new Hindenburg when they get around to making a new one of
those.

I believe that everybody can make a difference for good in this world. We have every
opportunity to succeed. When you are at work, give it your best. Anything less is not
ok.

Don’t be afraid of success whether it’s personal or collective. Strive for excellence.
It separates your company from your competitors and what makes your job secure.
There is nothing wrong with hard work and reward…..absolutely nothing.

So the lesson for today comes from a favorite punching bag – the Occupy Wall Street
Urchins. I am sure that some of them mean well. I am equally sure some of them are
just stoned at the party.

I cannot help but feel compelled to state that many of them don’t know why they are
there or what specifically they want to do to change things. This is a democracy. Make
changes in the voting booth. Do volunteer work for the poor or elderly. Make a real
difference.

Taking a crap on a cop car is not change. Getting high in public and carrying a
cardboard sign with misspelled words on it makes Paris Hilton (remember her?) look
like Einstein and you look like an idiot. Get a life.

The profit you hate meant jobs for your parents that provided for your education, food,
clothing, the roof over your head and likely that iPhone that is so out of place in your
make believe world.

There is no crime in being successful. Making it a crime makes it cool to lazy. Think of
the message this sends to our young.

They have already been brought up in a sugar coated world where everybody wins,
nobody fails and everyone should be happy being mediocre. Look at where our
children test out compared to the rest of world…..mediocre. That’s the best of the
worst or the worst of the best. It’s all about their feeeeelings.

Either way it’s this type of social entitlement thinking that gets college students all
jacked up thinking their loans are going to magically disappear. It’s this type of thinking
that we should all play Robin Hood and take from the rich and give to the poor.

When the poor no longer have to work and simply hold their hand out, their lives are
ruined. They have no self respect, no sense of accomplishment and no future. That’s
really the rub.

Take away everything people work for and give it to people that are kept in bondage by
handouts and we all lose. Keeping people in bondage for votes is morally corrupt. It’s
the new slavery.

……and giving handouts to buy votes destroys this country. 47% of American
households receive money from the government. 50% of the households pay no taxes.
Is it any wonder we are in debt?

In case you haven’t checked out Europe lately here’s a rundown: Europe is sliding into
another recession and many countries are becoming insolvent and are on the edge of
anarchy.

It’s the work of Socialism…..they leveled things out and provided mass social programs
that were unsustainable. Even when their countries are bankrupt, their people riot in
the streets for their freebies.

Is that the goal of the Urchins? Anarchy? Look at what happened in Seattle.

People thinking that a free ride is the answer are not Americans….they are leeches.
Sorry if you don’t agree, but not agreeing with the truth is simply denial.

Take ‘lil old Dixon Illinois controller, Rita Crundwell.  She really showed all those crooks up!  She stood out from all those Illinois politicians. 

In a town of 15,000 Lovely Rita managed to embezzle over $30,000,000!  This clever and well known horse breeder held the $80 grand per year job of town controller since the 1980’s.   From a city budget of only $8-9 million Rita managed to build up a huge horse farm, have the finest in jewelry, own a fleet of expensive cars and trucks, decorate a fabulous home and own a $2.1 million dollar motorhome. 

To top it off, officials arrested her and charged her with embezzlement.  What a shame!  She is the only one in the state who could really manage money.  Think about it.  She embezzled almost 10% of the annual budget and everything ran fine!

She provided the residents of Dixon all goods and services they expected for all those years and just took a little sumpin sumpin for herself.  She didn’t let the city go into debt; she didn’t force tax hikes, cut services or anything.  No other politician in America can manage money that well.  She’s a genius! 

Obama is selling chances for a date with George Clooney for $3.  Really, if you donate $3 to his campaign you have a chance for a date with George on May 10^th.  It’s like selling kisses at the county fair only you have fewer chances of getting herpes.  It’s a better way!

Food Stamp rolls are up by over 70% from 2007.  They are projected to continue to grow thru 2014.  Finally a chart from the feds with an upward trend.  Let’s put a good spin on this!

Anybody remember when it was embarrassing to be on food stamps?  I do.  It was so humiliating we shopped at night out of town so nobody would see us using them.  It was an incentive to get a job.  Now it isn’t.  You even get a credit card!  Flashy!

A record 5.4 million Americans have signed up for Disability Benefits since Obama took office.  Since the recession ended in June 2009, the number of people who’ve signed up for disability benefits is twice the job growth figure.   

That’s a 200% increase over job growth.  Wow, another growth area for the government!

In just the first four months of this year, 539,000 joined the disability rolls and more than 725,000 put in applications. As a result, by April there were 10.8 million people on disability.  Does anybody see reasons for keeping people on stamps, welfare and disability?  Brilliant political strategy!

The bureau of Veterans Affairs has a backlog of nearly 1,000,000 disability claims right now.  65% of them are more than 125 days old.  That’s better than 126 days.

Shifting gears – A 30 year old New Zealand mother died of cardiac arrest possibly brought on by a lifetime of drinking 2 gallons of Coke a day.  That got a ton of headlines. 

What a lot of people missed is that she is a mother of eight!  That means she never worked a day in her life.  Raising them was sooo easy she needed all that caffeine and sugar just to float thru life.  She was probably bored to death.

Researchers are predicting that brothels of the future will have robot prostitutes by 2050.  They say they can offer a wider variety of employees (I don’t know of another word) and they will be guilt free since another human would not be involved.  There goes guilty pleasures……

The day nobody thought would ever come is almost here……old Newter may announce that he’s dropping out of the race for the Republican nomination soon.  Silly guy, voters did that for him two months ago.  He didn’t get the memo.

Ryan Seacrest just signed a $30 million dollar contract to stay on American Idol.  Crikey!  $30 million?  They are paying him like he’s the American Idol. 

Boy oh gosh oh Friday!  That will give those Occupy Wall Street Urchins something to picket about!  He’s a real 1% er! 

No, actually they want a nice park, a sunny day, and pretty groomed flower beds to use as toilets…..and they want free stuff.  Besides, Seacrest looks too boyish to picket.

Child sex selection is now available in Canada.  Whoa there cowboy, watch your mind!  We are talking about being able to select the sex of your child.  It’s being touted as an abortion option. 

Seems a frequent reason some people had abortions is they wanted a baby of the other sex.  Really.  Aborting a child for being the wrong sex even has to make pro-abortion people cringe.  I resisted standing on my soapbox.

Yup!  There is a recording of Mel Gibson’s latest rants.  He’s toast in the movie industry.  He went from a respected actor and long time husband to a maniacal idiot in a few short years.  Awful human being.

Barry Obama’s favorite charity is back in the news.  The Solyndra in building in Fremont CA is up for sale.  It has the latest in materials, offices, design and facilities plus it’s expandable to 739,232 square feet.  It’s so huge you can lose almost a billion dollars in it and not even notice!

Barry heard that and offered to buy the property for a gazillion dollars then sell it back to them for a penny!  Ok, I lied.  It was 3 cents.  Think of these green projects as investments in the future…..debt of our children. 

China is coming out with a new line of high priced sunglasses.  They are called the Helen Keller sunglass line.  I can hear what you’re saying…ooops, no I can’t.  And I can’t see these being a hot product in the US.  Really, I can’t see it.  Really.

The John Edwards trial is beginning.  Remember when he was the promising bright young face of the Democratic Party?  Remember?

That was before he was one of those slightly out of focus subjects in a homemade movie.  The upside is those $14 haircuts he now gets at Supercuts look just as good as those $400 ones he used to get in his movie making days.  Now there’s a silver lining!

A woman injured while.…ummmmm…..canoodling was recently awarded workman’s compensation.  She was travelling on business for the federal government of Australia.  (And all of our federal workers thought at once “Why didn’t we think of that”?) 

Nevertheless, after a wonderful dinner and a few cocktails the lovely young lady took her male friend to her room.  There, while.….ummmm….doing a frenzied horizontal tango, a light fixture broke loose from the wall above and hit her on the face.  Kabam! 

Anyway, the judge ruled it was a normal activity and it happened while away at work.  He said it was like being injured at any normal activity like playing cards.  See, Australians’ do funny things too!

I have never seen a game of Canasta get so out of hand that the rockin and rollin of a bed causes a light fixture to fly off the wall and hit a card player in the face.  Have you?

Pat Summitt, long time coach of the Tennessee Lady Vols retired after 38 years on the job.  The Hall of Fame Coach was diagnosed with the early stages of Alzheimer’s last year. 

Summitt was the winningest collegiate basketball coach of all time and certainly one of the classiest.  She brought everything good that collegiate sports embody to the game of women’s basketball.  The president awarded her with Medal of Freedom upon her retirement.  She will be missed.

Doctor Albert Gore just got inducted into the Internet Hall of Fame in Switzerland.  I guess if you invent something you should get credit for something.  Really, there is such a thing and Gore did get inducted for “significant contributions to the global growth and use of the Internet.”  Not quite what he was hoping for, but it is something.

 Rumor has it that those may have been Russian spies that our Secret Servicemen were partying with in Columbia.  Well, at least they weren’t hookers.

 The president called those agents involved knuckleheads.  I think he already used poopoo heads in an earlier speech referring to Congress.

 The funny thing about politics this year is that everybody is having a hard time staying on the issues.  They are trying to run on silly topics.

 Look at the “issues” that are defining things this year: 

• Occupy Wall Street – Dirty people with bowel and bladder control issues. A politically conceived, media fostered organization formed to distract from important topics and divide the electorate.
• The “War on Women” – I don’t understand who, what, or where about this subject.  If it makes sense to you, you inhaled. It’s a politically conceived, media fostered issue to distract from important topics and divide the electorate.
• The”War on the Rich” – A cheap shot to rally the majority against a minority.  It has nothing to do with reducing the debt. A politically conceived, media fostered issue to distract from important topics and divide the electorate. 
• The “Race Card” – A single event in Florida that turned into a media circus for political means.  It is hypocritical to think one life matters more than the thousands that die annually only because someone was shot by a “half white”.  All life matters.  To ignore that and play the race card is an insult to all blacks.  It’s a politically conceived, media fostered issue to distract from important topics and divide the electorate. See a trend?
• PAC money – This is where hundreds of millions of dollars worth of attack ads are run on a candidates behalf and they (the candidates) can play innocent. It’s the Great Oz pulling strings and we don’t know who they are.
• Religion and Race – We have it all this year and many are using it to divide instead of unite.  These should only be discussed in a bar when drinking.  Then it may make more sense.
• The Supreme Court – It’s the first time I recall leaning on the Court to influence the outcome of a case they were reviewing.  They do their job according to the Constitution, not according to the politics du jour.

 In conclusion, politicians are people just like everybody else.  They make mistakes, are honest, are liars, are crooked, are funny, are incompetent, are stupid, and loyal, are sleazy….but most of all they are creative.

They can be creative for our good and to our detriment just like regular folks…..the only difference is they greatly affect our lives.  Some don’t seem to take their responsibilities serious.

Blind loyalty to a party or candidate takes away our responsibility to research and think.  It could be a politician you like wants policies that are actually bad for you, your family and this county’s future. 

And don’t expect CNN or Fox News to give you all your answers….news is their business and they have to make profits.  That means that what they put out as news has to excite you and hold your interest.  They do slant it to keep you tuned in and pay for their sponsors. 

We see a lot of political irresponsibility on both sides.  This is a critical time for this country and the world in general.  Some Americans are brainwashed into thinking that everything is hunky dory.  It’s not.

It’s time to do the right thing and think beyond silly little issues, shallow catchy phrases or media created divisions.  Think about the future of your children, grandchildren and what role the United States should play on the international scene.  (Another huge topic for someday).

We are the only superpower remaining in the world and with that goes a great responsibility.  We have botched it in recent administrations.  An informed and thoughtful electorate is what is needed this election year. 

We don’t need crazies threatening, protesting or directing the issues.  We need to get this country united and focused on what matters.  The future of America and our citizens is what matters…..not politicians and silly media hype.

Did you know that Warren “I wanna pay more taxes” Buffett is one more political joke you can add to the list of phony baloneys?  Seems his company Berkshire Hathaway has been fighting with the IRS for years over nearly $1 billion dollars in back taxes! 

And now the Prez wants to name his new tax for the rich after his buddy.  I think it should be called the Buf-fake tax.  Keep reading.

All that yapping about the rich paying more taxes.  That is the slickest bunch of razzle dazzle being played on the American public.  That will have so little impact on the deficit.  It’s like draining the ocean with a straw. 

THE MATH – The Joint Committee on Taxation estimates this new tax would yield between $4 billion and $5 billion a year. If we collect the Buf-fake tax for the next 250 years, it would not cover the Obama deficit for 2011 alone. 

But the Occupy people nearly wet their pants when he talks about taxing the rich.  Never trust dirty people that smell.

While all this posing and posturing about the rich, your taxes are set to go up $3,800 next year while several breaks and cuts expire.  More about this in a later blog.  It’s called Taxmageddon.

If they made it an issue about fairness and not reducing the debt it would make some sense.  I hate it when politicians treat us like we are stupid.

The real purpose of the issue is to create class division.  It stirs up the masses and is designed to increase voter turnout.  That is where those Occupy Wall Street Urchins come from.

The Buffett Rule is nothing but a form of redistributionism that has absolutely nothing to do with debt reduction and everything to do with re-election.  It’s a Boo-fake rule.

And don’t be naïve to think its tax reform.  For the last three years there has been nothing done to reform, simplify or modify our tax laws……nothing.

Did Axl Rose fall off his Axl or what?  The front man for the party circus called Guns and Roses was a no show when the group was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Seems the band and him had some long simmering feud.  His lengthy published refusal to attend sounded a lot like mindless ramblings……or a political speech.  Too many years of self medication perhaps?

Speaking of snacking on your feet – Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen stirred up a hornets’ nest with her comment that Ann Romney (a stay at home mom with five kids) never worked a day in her life. 

Ann Romney twittered back that it was her career choice was to be a working mom.  Very noble, but the fact is most women don’t have that luxury.

All of Rosen’s political allies vanished before her very eyes like a Las Vegas magic act!

Speaking of Las Vegas – the bad news from GSA just keeps on rolling in.  How about the weeklong trip to Hawaii for five to attend a one hour ribbon cutting ceremony?  Sign me up!

What about the GSA employee who booked a room in Vegas for under $100 and charged the government (that’s you and I) a cool grand?  Cha ching.

On the Vegas trip they had allowed $44 for breakfast!  You can get prime rib and eggs for $20 in dozens of casinos.  And each person got their own personal cheese display costing $19.  Oh my Gouda!

They even planned parties at our expense to pass out made up awards.  You know cocktails, expensive restaurants and gifts.  Why they even had a fabulous dinner to honor one of our government employees with the “Jackass Award”.  I’ll bet it’s a travelling award with several names engraved on it.

The good news is GSA’s Jeffrey Neely, who is expected to plead the Fifth in hearings, is on paid leave.   Yes, he’s still getting paid.  Neely is the western regional commissioner who help plan and organize the fun little getaway we’ve heard so much about!

Neely is such a knob that his wife posted photos of their trips on Facebook!  Sooo smart.

Oh yeah, another hoax both parties are trying to lay on us is the “War on Women”.  What a crock!  Only an idiot would pick a fight with one woman let alone all women.  We are hearing it from both Romney and Obama.  It’s a farce.

Our little Snooki and her baby daddy Jionni LaValle are taking parenting classes.  They’ve been seen hauling a plastic doll with them everywhere.  It looked pretty tan.  They must have never let the doll out of their sight……ever. 

Kim and Kanye – whose parents are sick over this?   Neither.

Got a glimpse of the lady on that Dance Moms (I think that’s what it’s called) show.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am a few pounds overweight and somewhat out of shape. 

However, this show is about a very large woman barking out orders and yelling at little girls and sometimes their Mom’s.  She is mean…..like really mean to those kids.  As I watched I couldn’t help but think she looks like she could barely get up a step to enter an Old Country Boo-fay.  How did she end up being a dance instructor?

Is anybody paying attention to the NBA?  Anybody?

Bill Cosby just came out and said the problem in the Trayvon Martin shooting is not racism – it’s the gun….and a law that may be the most liberal as far as the use of a gun in self defense. 

Can somebody tell me how the New Black Panther’s organization can go on TV and publicly put a bounty on Zimmerman and the state and the feds do nothing?  Did you know that Hashim Nzinga, the national chief of staff, was arrested during a visit to a probation office, and charged with being a felon in possession of a firearm, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution?

Police say Nzinga pawned a handgun, which is a crime for him to possess since his felony conviction last month for deposit fraud.  People like this are bound to make things better all the way around.  Lots better.

Anybody realize that Democrats have control of the Senate 53 to 47 Republicans?  It takes 51 votes to pass legislation.  In almost 1,100 days they have not passed a budget.  That’s coming up on three years.  If you are a Democrat do you wonder why? 

The Republicans have passed two in the House.  Not picking sides, just telling the truth.

When remodeling a retail business many owners put their focus on the upfront costs.  While it is always important to manage you cash flow and overall finances it is also important to keep your store looking fresh and interesting. 

Assuming you have a good location (yes, that’s still the biggie) and good traffic, a remodel should pay you dividends in short order.  Regular customers will spend more time in your store because they want to see what’s new.  Your employees will also get a spring in their step because you’re investing in the business and that means you’re serious about the future. 

Don’t forget shoppers will come in just because they know you renovated.  People are curious.

Silver haired and sweet faced, Darlene Mayes looks like many grannies but according to police, she is one of Oklahoma’s biggest drug kingpins.

Her operation went up in smoke this week, when police entered her home and found 4 pounds of pot and $276,000 cash.  Police found $15,000 bundles of cash stashed away in the home.

Mayes initially told police the money was part of her retirement fund.  Police also say she was packing a semiautomatic pistol and a revolver.  Yup she was packing!

Investigators say her alleged pot-dealing network spanned four states, from Tulsa, Okla., to Arkansas, Kansas, and Missouri. 

I bet if one followed Nutty Old Newt around you would have a bushel basket full of marbles by now.  He reportedly reached out to Rick Santorum to ask for his endorsement.  If you are a Republican you gotta be praying that he stops this silliness soon.  He can’t possibly have many marbles left at the rate he’s losing them.

Now that Mitt (Mittens) has the nomination wrapped up, he’s got to loosen it up a bit.  Somebody quit starching his undies!  Oh yeah, how about a hair out of place too….that would help.

He’s baaaaack!  Screen writer Joe Eszerhas put out a scathing nine page letter about Mel Gibson’s vile ranting about Jews and his ex wife….again.  Gibson denies it all and says it’s a blankety blanking bunch of blanking blanking lies. 

I believe Mel because he has repeatedly shown himself never to be a racist, bigoted, homophobic, anti Semitic, foul mouth fool.  Ooops, I was thinking about another Mel.  Eszerhas claimed that he has recorded some of the conversations.  He did.

Just when you heard it all – there’s a “Pet Lovers for Obama-Biden” group.  What does that mean?  I’ll address it on the next blog.  Simply Looney.

The big North Korean missile turned out to be an itty bitty fizzle.  As part of the 100 year celebration of the birth of Kim Il Sung the founder of the dictatorship they were going to show the world that North Koreans really had it big when it came to long range missiles. 

However, they proved that they only had short range capability.  Their long range missile fizzled within 90 seconds of take off.  Read everything you want into this.  Silly Koreans.

Britney Spears supposedly signed a $15 million dollar contract to be a judge on the X Factor with Simon Cowell.  Talk about coming back from the edge of a cliff! 

Five years ago she had a breakdown, shaved her head bald and took an umbrella to a car.  They took her away strapped in a gurney, took her kids away and her dad took over her money.

Today, two monster albums later, a chart topping world tour, the world’s top selling perfume line, kids back and engaged.  That says something besides she’s really, really, really rich!  The X Factor gig is chump change for her.

Howard Stern signed another big contract to be a judge on America’s Got Talent.  He will be a loaded canon (not Nick Canon-Carey) just like Steven Tyler.  Bleep.  Bleep.

The Marlin’s manager Ozzie Guillen was suspended for five games because he told a reporter for Time magazine that he really admired Fidel Castro.  Boy oh boy there’s a lot to admire with Fidel like camouflage clothes, cigars and a beard.  See lots!

Guillen later apologized…..and cried.  The apology and press conference wasted a whole hour. 

Can you believe that Brad and Angelina are going to get married?  You know that will generate more buzz than the presidential election.  They said that the kids are happy….all 743 of them.  The number is up a little, they picked up a few extras at a Wal-Mart. 

It would be too funny if they did it up like a royal wedding.  Then little old ladies in England can sit up all night drinking tea and watch the ceremony just like little old ladies in the states did for their royal weddings.  And the lady in Sheboygan says, “Oooooh lookie dat cute lil kiddo dere!”

Just before our president was scheduled to arrive in Colombia, a few Secret Service employees got involved with some local ladies of the evening.  The stuff reportedly hit the fan when somebody didn’t want to pay the $47 he owed. 

Obama was reportedly outraged!  I don’t get it.  $47.  It’s the first time I heard of any federal employees being frugal about anything!  That’s probably what made Obama mad.

Word has it that Barry Bonds may be called to testify in Roger Clemens trial.  Wouldn’t it be too funny if he shows up and looks like Flava Flav?  Priceless.

Finally, Dick Clark passed away recently.  Best quote about him is that “The only person that made more stars than him was God.”  Amen.

He didn’t settle for the typical tap dance answers we hear all the time.  He wasn’t much for letting politicians or public figures in general get away preaching from the soapbox either.  He wanted answers and worked to get them.

He even asked Ayatollah Khomeini if he was crazy.  And he lived!

And he didn’t have a personal political agenda either.  Gosh, those were the days.

Now we have the goofy Keith Olbermann pulling his typical prima donna routine.  After getting dumped by MSNBC for lousy ratings, Doctor Albert Gore (global warming guru and inventor of the internet) got him a job on obscure Current TV channel.  Nice guy, huh?

But was Keith grateful? Oh heck no!  He complained that his limo driver smelled funny and should be replaced.  His dressing room was subpar and didn’t have enough conveniences.  And too many of the workers in the studio talked to him.  Really!

All of those demands and he had like four or five people watching him.  He even took more vacations than Queen Michelle.  Now he’s threatening to sue.  Not a Mike Wallace.

I am confused.  GE CEO Jeff Immelt is the President’s high profile head of the Job Council.  He was appointed to the position as he moved hundreds if not thousands of jobs to China.  His company was also the recipient of about a gazillion dollars for “Green Projects Subsidies”.  Even though he was a lifelong Republican he hung in there as Obama’s guy.  I think he liked the gifties!

But now there are rumors that he is dismayed with the anti-business climate and policies.  He also is concerned about the increasing class warfare rhetoric pitting everybody against the wealthy and big business.

He reportedly said he thought there would be emphasis on powering up the economy instead of enlarging the government.  Of course his offices denied all of this…..except they will still take any subsidies and tax breaks from his boss……of course.

Obama warned North Korea against any missile launch.  Twelve hours later they moved the rocket into prep for the launch.  They must have been terrified.

Shifting gears and switching partners – Kim Kardashian is now dating Kanye West while she is working out divorce details from Kris Humphries.  She was spotted taking the dreaded “Walk of Shame” from his hotel to a limo wearing previous night’s clothes.  Classy!

There was even a little hickey to show off!  Kanye being the class guy he is tweeted he could have his buddy Jay-Z dump Humphries from the team since he is a co owner.  Kim and Kanye – did anybody else think there’s gonna be a movie soon?  After all, they are both really classy people.  Anything for a headline.

It’s always interesting to talk to friends about their business.  It may just be me, but the ones that are busy (and there are a lot of them) are working extra hard, taking risks and beating the competition on quality and service.  The ones that aren’t’ doing so well are playing safe….too safe.  The only thing they are doing is cutting back and waiting.  I wonder what for.

Mr. Khloe Kardashian (he used to be Lamar Odom) is leaving the Mavericks.  Just been playing bad.  He reportedly didn’t get fired…he’s just leaving.  I wonder if it was just a little too much reality in his life.

J-Lo’s new boy toy got a really nice present for his birthday.  A fully loaded Dodge Ram pickup!  Next year he’ll get a license so he can drive it.  She got him that because it looked just like his favorite Tonka truck!

Old Newt’s bowing out of the race for the Republican nomination.  His six supporters are really bummed.

At the annual Easter Egg Hunt at the white House the Prez had a basketball clinic put on by some pros.  The basketballs had Obama’s face printed on them.  Evidently the Easter lesson was not about humility.

The Democrats are working sooooo hard to keep that ill tempered Rick Tantorum in the race and are voting heavy for him in every primary.  Experts say that if the Democrats would stop voting for him, Mittens just might be doing even better than he is.  Are they really that afraid of a guy named after fuzzy winter hand ware?

Did anybody think Obama’s veiled threat to the Supreme Court not to overturn ObamaCare was cool?  Did he really think that he was right to try to influence the highest court in the land?

Lower courts listening to a related case asked the feds to clarify if the courts could deem certain laws institutional.  Eric Holder’s (the Attorney General) boys had to say they did agree the courts could declare laws unconstitutional.  That took some major kissing up.  It was almost a knockout punch for ObamaCare……almost.

Watch what Obama does if they throw out the personal mandate that everybody has to buy insurance.  It will be interesting to see how this plays out in the presidential election.  Garf.

Bubba Watson won the Masters by beating out Louis Oosthuizen.  Just try to pronounce it.  I dare you!  Let me help – it starts out with Ooozth……

Tiger may get fined for unsportsmanlike conduct.  Well, I guess that’s better than some conduct he’s exhibited in the past.

Speaking of exhibition – what about those wild and crazy GSA employees?  Seems like they had a grand bash in Vegas….only this time it didn’t stay in Vegas.  They were singing about their easy jobs and their buddy Obama.  Maybe this is symptomatic of unqualified job security…..or blatant stupidity……maybe.

Big scandal in the Miss Universe Pageant.  Seems that one of Canadian entries, the lovely Jenna Talackova was disqualified because she was in violation of a Pageant rule.  The rule states that the contestants must be a naturally born female.

Now I know what you are thinking.  Because this takes place in Canada you likely thought perhaps she was born a moose.  But that’s not the case.

The lovely Jenna was born a man.  I don’t know how far along Jenna is in the process, but I think we would all pretty much know by time the swimsuit competition came around.  But that’s just my guess.

And Tim Tebow preached a Sunday service to 15,000 on Easter.  For the amount of press this kids getting, I hope he’s the real deal.  One teeny tiny slip up and it’s over.  He’ll be judged super harshly while other celebrities roll in garbage daily and we still pay to see their movies, buy their music and watch their sports.    Are we that shallow or are our priorities messed up?  I dunno.

And get this – an agnostic scientist named Thomas De Wesselow is making the case that the Shroud of Turin is not a fake and is actually the cloth laid over Jesus.  He said the carbon dating that was done a few years back is incorrect and he believes that it is real.

Ok folks I never thought I would see the day when an agnostic is arguing that the Shroud of Turin is real.  That has to make one stop and think.  Interesting, yes?

You know I’ve spoke about office upkeep, importance of a good first impression and all that.  But it’s always been about what’s inside your building.  It’s understood that many companies have made some upkeep decisions due to the economy.  But here’s something you may need to give some thought to.

Keep the grounds around your building looking neat and clean.  It doesn’t cost a fortune to mow the lawn and keeping landscaping under control is not rocket science.  It’s cheap to do and it does make a difference.

Good News!  Just read a report that dental X-rays cause brain tumors.  Is anything halfway safe anymore?

We all hear the big beef about new voter ID laws.  The people that are for it says it will decrease voter fraud (a favorite pastime here in Wisconsin).  Opponents say it hurts minority participation.  I don’t care who you are or what you do, you need a valid ID to do almost anything….at least I do.

Funny incident – James O’Keefe with Project Veritas videotaped a clever stunt to show how easy voter fraud is.  The video shows the man entering a polling place in Washington, D.C., then cuts to the man asking a poll worker, “Do you have an Eric Holder?”

After the O’Keefe associate confirms Holder’s address, which is censored, the poll worker offers him the voter roll and says, “Please sign your name there.” The fake Eric Holder then says he left his ID in the car and leaves.

Ok let’s analyze how easy fraud is.  The guy is white and Eric Holder is the Attorney General of the United States and he’s black!  What if the guy said he was Barak Obama?

In Wisconsin we accept Donald Duck, Superman and Mickey Mouse on recall petitions.  Yes, even with a code of ethics for judges and journalists, they still signed the petition….only they changed some of the spelling of their names.  Then they denied even signing them.

So how fair and impartial are some of our judges and journalists?  Very damn little.  They are phony and dishonest.

That’s how this blog got the name Media Mush.  The media has doctored video and audio tapes to make things appear racially inflammatory on at least three known occasions in the Trayvon Martin tragedy.  Did you know that?  They fabricated lies for you and me.

Why?  It boosts ratings!  It makes people march!  It brings out Overreaction Jackson and Al Sharpton’s Hair!  Nothing stirs people up like charges of racism.  When Sharpton’s Hair uses the word “escalate” it is to sound threatening and to stir up people.  Period.

Or is he talking about getting a soap box to stand on so Jesse isn’t blocking the sun?  He needs to escalate.  Get it?

Time for another new word – “eracism”.  It’s when people ignore the foolishness of others when they try to divide our citizens.  I am an eracist.  I want to see this country united and our leaders do the right thing.

I am an eracist because I think Bobby Rush (former Black Panther and Illinois Congressman) was just plain silly wearing a hoodie to address Congress.  Pelosi thought it was great and complimented him on it.  I don’t think she’s an eracist.

A few facts:  On the day of his little spectacle in DC, back in his congressional district during a span of six hours 13 blacks were shot and two killed…..the two shooters wore hoodies.  What?

When Sharpton’s Hair and Overreaction Jackson were stirring the pot in Sanford FL, just a few miles away in Miami, the worst mass shooting in Florida history was taking place.  14 people shot, 2 men killed and 5 year old girl was seriously wounded…..at a funeral.

While Rush was wearing his hoodie for congress, his exact look alike in the identical clothes  carjacked an SUV from a housewife and robbed a convenience store at gunpoint.  Way to go Mr. Bobbie Rush.  You really inspire the young.

Where’s the outrage?  Where’s the leadership?  Where’s the honest reporting from the media?

The media has been exposed for blatantly trying to alter news and stir the pot of racism when there no need to.  Our leaders of all colors need to be eracists and deal with problems in this country and not create them when they don’t exist…..and to calm things when they do.

Because when you come right down to it, we are all Americans and our children and grandchildren need a safe place to live out their lives.    We need to gather the facts before we react to a dishonest news media.  Mike Wallace died and the guys that are left kind of suck.

We need to demand more honesty and integrity from our leaders.  And we need to let them know they wouldn’t be jack without us.

But he’s finally doing something grown up….he’s entering rehab.  Oh, If he only had a brain.  (Scarecrow)

They say it’s for prescription drugs or alcohol.  I understand that better than all those celebrities and sports stars that enter rehab for exhaustion.  I don’t understand going to rehab for exhaustion.  What do they tell you to do there…….take a nap?

Geee, does that mean if you’re tired should you go to rehab?  I dunno.

Dick Cheney got a new heart. Funny, I didn’t think he had one in the first place.  (Tin Man)

Reports are that a lady broke into Simon Cowell’s $15 million dollar mansion using a brick.  Like Goldilocks she even tried out his bed.  When they came face to face, he felt a huge surge of courage and said,”You look dreadful….get out of here you stupid cow”.  He is so brave…..and eloquent.  (Cowardly Lion)

Is it my imagination or has Jessica Simpson been pregnant for about two years now?  Remember when she asked then husband Nick Lachey if Chicken of the Sea Tuna was really chicken?  And we laughed.  We thought she was dumb.  Now she runs a billion dollar fashion empire.  We be dumb.  (I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore Dorothy)

Are you one of those people who are completely out of the loop with this Hunger Games stuff?  Here is a quick overview.  It takes place in a post apocalyptic country divided up into several poor districts run by a central wealthy capital.

Annually teenagers from each of the districts compete in a hunt until death.  Of course, there are the usual star crossed lovers and various villains.  Naturally this sounds like perfect family fare…..teens killing teens.  Kind of creepy.  It almost makes vampires and boy wizards sound normal.

In the past I’ve spent some time talking about keeping offices neat and clean.  Now it’s time to address the rest of your facility.  If you are a manufacturer, warehouse or have space in addition to your offices, this goes for you.

Keep those areas clean!  One thing that speaks loudly to your prospects and clients is the condition of your facilities….all of it.  A dirty facility is an unsafe facility.  Protect your employees, yourself and gain business by keeping a clean environment for your people and products. Schedule a cleanup program and follow it.  It’s like brushing and flossing your teeth.  Do it!

There’s a wonderful book that is selling out in parts of the Middle East.  It’s called A Gift for Muslim Couples.  It’s got some real helpful hints like how to physically restrain you wife when you need to and it encourages men to “treat her kindly even though she is slow and stupid”.

I am not making this up – it even gives guidelines on how to beat her with a stick or your hand, how to withhold money and how to pull her ears when she disobeys.  To be fair, it also says that one should refrain from excess beatings.

After reading that you almost wonder what century this is.  Beatings are ok….just not in excess.

To think that American organizations are petitioning the UN regarding our photo ID laws being unfair.  And these backward wife beaters are going to vote on it!  I vote we should move the UN to the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

In a bizarre case of political correctness run wild, New York educrats (educators and bureaucrats) banned references to “dinosaurs,” “birthdays,” “Halloween” and dozens of other topics on city-issued tests.  That is because they fear such topics “could evoke unpleasant emotions in the students.”

Dinosaurs, for example, call to mind evolution, which might upset fundamentalists; birthdays are not celebrated by Jehovah’s Witnesses; and Halloween suggests paganism.

Even “dancing” is taboo, because some sects object. But the city did make an exception for ballet.  No wonder the education system sucks in the US.

Little Johnnie stinks at Math and Science but at least he doesn’t have a birthday, know about dinosaurs, celebrate Halloween or dance. He’s so much better off.

This Trayvon Martin incident is a real tragedy.  But the facts are dozens of young people die every day in this country.  The question I have is why the outrage for this young man?  I am trying not to draw conclusions, but consider the following:

• The Prez said if he had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.  What does that mean?
• Vigilante groups are offering rewards for the suspect.  Who do they think they are?
• The Wall Street Journal referred to alleged shooter (George Zimmerman) as a “white Hispanic”.  Know where that term came from?  He has a white parent and a Hispanic one.  Does that make Obama a white African American?  Well???

Witnesses have come forward and said that Trayvon hit Zimmerman and pushed his head against the pavement a number of times.  Zimmerman had a broken nose and lacerations on the back of his head when police arrived.  This has been slow to be published…..it doesn’t sell papers or draw viewers.

Before people come to conclusions, demonstrate, threaten violence or grandstand for political reasons, remember in 2006 there were accusations of rape and the subsequent arrest of a number of Duke Lacrosse players.  There was a lot of political grandstanding and demonstrations.  The charges were later proven to be false.

This is a tragedy either way.  We should have all the facts in front of us before stuff spirals out of control.

Meanwhile, the Smoking Gun, a website that tracks criminal cases and document filings, reported Monday afternoon that Martin’s mother, Sabrina Fulton, filed two applications last week for trademarks on her late son’s name.

Fulton is seeking marks for the phrases “I Am Trayvon” and “Justice for Trayvon,” according to filings with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. In both instances, Fulton is seeking the trademarks for use on “Digital materials, namely, CDs and DVDs featuring Trayvon Martin,” and other products.

Former NAACP leader C.L. Bryant is accusing Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton of “exploiting” the Trayvon Martin tragedy to “racially divide this country.”

What can I say?  It’s sad all the way around.  Leaders should be peacemakers.

Madonna has posted a record 41 #1 Dance tunes on Billboard charts.  It’s her latest single “Give Me All Your Luvin” sitting at the top of the charts.  Old girl’s still got it….I guess.  Anybody remember her when she didn’t have an English accent?  She used to sound like Snooki.

Rick Santorum is flipping out as his odds of winning the nomination dwindle.  He’s yelling at reporters and letting loose with an occasionally expletive…..it’s called having a Tantorum. That’s a word that you can all use.

The Men’s NCAA final four are set: Louisville, Kentucky, Ohio St and Kansas.  Looks like the whole world is betting on Kentucky.  What about you?

Not that Wendy Williams is the most cerebral person but she did have a brilliant quote the other day.  She was talking with her audience and they agreed with her that Russell Brand always looks dirty.  She said he looks like he would smell of burnt onions and urine….Ouch!

 That brings up eating in the office.  Ooooo that’s a rough segue.  If your company allows you to eat lunch at your desk or cubicle, use common sense.  Those sub sandwiches are really good and many people like onions on them.  Burgers and Mexican food too.   Don’t eat that kind of stuff at your desk.  It smells.  Plus, people will think you are hanging out with stinky old Russell.

Of course it’s always nice to have thoughtful headlines:

• Include your Children when Baking Cookies
• Eye Drops off Shelf
• Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
• Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
• Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
• Stolen Painting Found by Tree
• Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
• Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
• Man Steals Clock, Faces Time
• Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
• Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
• British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
• Ban On Soliciting Dead in Akron
• Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
• Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
• Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
• Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

And that’s why we can always make fun of media.

Rihanna is sneaking around with Ashton Kutcher.  Bye, Bye Demi.  Bye, Bye Chris.  The new improved Charlie Sheen is back.  Anybody else feel like Ashton punk’d us all?

The Supreme Court is going to rule on the legality of ObamaCare.  Queen Michelle is mad.  She thought the Supreme Court was where people come to meet her and she gets to rule.

Mr. Potato Head just turned 60.  He actually looks pretty good for his age.  Question: If he decides to get Lasik surgery so he doesn’t have to wear glasses, how many eyes does he get charged for?

Is it me or is Steven Tyler starting to look like the ugliest woman ever?  Too late, Johnny Depp already called Alice Cooper the ugliest woman in the world.  Really, he did.  I stand corrected.

He’s baaaaaack.  Tiger Woods recently won the Arnold Palmer Invitational.  It was his first win since the 2009 scandal came about.  The win came only two days before the release of a new tell-all book by Woods’ former swing coach, Hank Haney, who makes less than flattering remarks about his former student.  Never would have guessed.

Bill “Big Tuna” Parcells is rumored to be in talks to take over the reins of the Saints now that Sean Payton is suspended over the “bounty” issue.  Parcells was Payton’s mentor for years.

Peyton Manning signed a five year $96 million dollar contract with the Broncos.  Let’s get this straight.  He’s 36 years old.  Contract is up at 41.  He’s had four neck operations.  Even if he’s only at 90%, he’s better than 90% of the other quarterbacks…..some say.  He could be a boom or bust…..time will tell.

If you have been waiting all day for good news and here it is!  Eating chocolate more frequently has been linked to lower body mass index in a new study – regardless of total calories consumed per day or time spent exercising.  Hallelujah!!!

The solution boils down to two things – taxes and spending.  So this question should help provide a solution.  Does this country have a tax problem or a spending problem?  Could it be that simple?

News Flash – In September 2009, the President announced that his healthcare plan would cost $900 billion over 10 years. (Paragraph 50 of the President’s remarks.)  Recently, the CBO is projecting that the cost will nearly double to 1.76 trillion within the same time period. Is it spending or taxes?….Well?

A creative writing class at Slippery Rock University was asked to write a concise essay containing the following elements:
* Religion
* Royalty
* Sex
* Mystery
The prize winner wrote: “My God,” said the Queen, “I am pregnant! I wonder who did it?”

Business tip:  Just like the story above, keep your emails concise and to the point.  Know the difference between friendly and formal.  Remember once it’s in an email, it’s there forever.  Think and proofread before you hit send.

Tyra Banks just got her diploma in Executive Education from Harvard!  I saw her show once.  Not much, but she’s way richer than me!

OMG – here’s a hot news item!  Did you know that March is a very popular month for vasectomies?  Yes, very popular.  Guys are willing to get snipped then because of March Madness.  You see, they have the surgery the morning the games start then have to take it easy and stay home on the couch for four days or so.

Plus you celebrate St. Paddy’s day!  Beer and basketball – heaven!  It’s gotten so popular some doctors even serve free pizza to clients!

Rumor is that Peyton Manning has his choices narrowed down to two teams.  The Broncos and the Titans.  Can you imagine the drama with Tebow, Elway and Manning in the mix in Denver?  That is the stuff movies are made from!  Stay tuned.

Bear Grylls of Discovery channel’s Man vs. Wild could not come to agreement on his contract and show content with the network.  It was always a fascinating show that wasn’t about food and made you hungry.  Too bad, it was a cool show.

Speaking of survival – a slow economy is good time to gain market share.  Analyze your competitors and prospects.  Pick and choose your opportunities and don’t waste resources chasing everything…..focus on your best shots at gaining business!

The incredibly hot Jennifer Lopez may be getting married to her 24 year old back up dancer Caspar Smart.  Funny name aside, does anyone else resent him?

Speaking of turning a frog into a prince – a new species of frog has been found in New York City of all places!  True!  It was originally found on Staten Island and has been located in a few other locations in NY and NJ.  It has fuzzy little reddish hairs that grow left to right……they called it a Toadus Trumpus.

Gotta love a true story – When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home obviously in pain.

Seems he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake and gave it a big old suck. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

Voter ID laws are a real hot topic in a number of states.  Supporters say it helps eliminate voter fraud (a favorite pastime in many states).  Opponents say it suppresses voter turnout and discriminates against poor and minorities.

Here are a few fun facts to consider:  Unions are strong supporters of this measure.  But, you need a photo ID to vote in a union election.  Odd they would oppose photo ID’s for political elections.

Gee, you need some sort of photo ID (which are free virtually everywhere) to cash a check, use a credit card, buy liquor, buy cigarettes, vote in a union election, get food stamps (in some states), board a plane, get in a nite club and more, but it’s discriminatory to require one for voting.  When there is evidence of voter fraud in so many places I find the objections odd…..but wait, it gets better!

To top it all off, the NAACP is presenting a case to the United Nations that requiring photo ID’s to vote in the US is unfair and illegal.  We are going to be judged by countries that don’t even have elections or let women vote!

Yes dear friends, international nutcases like North Korea, Iran and Syria are going to pass judgment on US voting practices!  Think about it – Syria is slaughtering their own people and they get to judge our voter ID laws.  Insanity.

Should we continue to fund the UN?  Just wondering.

Speaking of funding an expensive body – Jennifer Anniston (voted the hottest women of all time by Men’s Magazine) spends an average of over $400 a day on staying hot.  That includes a nutritionist, trainer, specials oils and ointments, hair care ($600 a cut), manicures, pedicures and oh so much more.

So ladies for a mere 12 grand a month, you could give old Jen a run for her money!  PS, that amount did not include any surgery of any type.  That’s separate.  Save up!

A great tip for your office is to keep things neat and organized.  Some personal items are typically allowed but don’t get carried away.  It will detract from a professional looking office.  If you feel guilty, take something off your desk now!

Good news!  The Home Affordable Modification Bill that was supposed to help 13.4 million homeowners reached a whopping 1.9 million homeowners.  Our federal government can really manage programs to help our economy and homeowners can’t they?

The Encyclopedia Britannica is ending printing after 244 years.  It will only be available on line.  Anybody else ever move a set of Encyclopedias?  They were so expensive you could not justify giving them away….but after two moves you found a way to leave them behind.  They weighed a ton.

 The Health Department in the New Jersey capital of Trenton almost shut the city down for a lack of toilet paper.  Budget issues.  I hear the Mayor just wiped the problem away.

Actual Newspaper Headlines:

1. Plane Too Close to Ground, Say Crash Experts
2. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
3. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
4. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
5. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
6. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
7. Farmer Bill Dies in House
8. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
9. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
10. Stud Tires Out
11. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
12. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarians Takes Over
13. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
14. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
15. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
16. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
17. If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

And of course we need a few notes about our Republican friends.  We now know that Republican voters in primaries are not sure what they want.  We also know in open primaries (where anybody can vote) Democrats are voting for Santorum….they don’t want Mitt to win and they want these primaries to be damaging to the eventual nominee.  Very smart!

MSNBC’s Chris Mathews has shown himself to be a complete idiot or an honest man.  He indirectly referred to both Catholicism and Mormonism as cults.  Actually they both kind of view each other that way and so do some evangelicals.  I guess that leaves nobody running on the Republican side that’s not in a cult.

It’s gotta be a toughie for the far right deciding on the lesser of three evils.  (Sorry Ron Paul you’re just not a vote getter).  Golly, I really thought we were a more advanced country than that.

And to you snickering Obama supporters think about this….one of Obama’s re-election websites is called African American’s for Obama.  If you doubt this exists, check it out and watch his video on the site.

Would anybody be offended with a Whites for Newt, Mitt or Santorum site?  The answer is yes and it would be called racist.  It’s wrong.  It’s just plain wrong.

We should be at a point in our society where color and religion diversity are things that unite us as country and not divide us.  If we don’t feel that way, we need to grow up.

I think it’s time Republicans and Democrats alike realize that we are all Americans.  We come from different backgrounds, religions and beliefs.  We come in all sizes, shapes and colors….and we are all good.

If I could have one wish for this country it would be to unite as a nation and do the things necessary to provide a better place for our children.  Think of what we are leaving behind us.

Are we no better than the foreign radicals that say only their way is right?  Don’t people remember The Constitution, The Bill of Rights, the National Anthem and The Pledge of Allegiance?  They should mean something to every person in this country!

Those are our roots.  We are all Americans.  We should be proud of it.  It shouldn’t take a 9/11 to unite us as a country.  We are better than that.

Switching gears, a Dutch veterinarian was fined 600 guilders (about $240) for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in Lichten Vourde, the Netherlands. The vet had been trying to convince a farmer that his cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the vet ignited the gas, but the cow became a four legged flame thrower and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay.  Damage to the farm was assessed at $80,000. The cow was unharmed…..a little tender, but unharmed.

Doctor Albert Gore (the inventor of the Internet who lost the presidency by a hanging chad) heard about the flamous (my new word) cow and immediately leapt into action and said something that nobody understood, remembered or cared about.

 And finally, there’s this headline from Rome – Pope orders eau de cologne he alone may wear.   At 84, Pope Benedict XVI, already proven to be a spiffy dresser, has commissioned his own brand of cologne….a scent that only he may wear.  I hear it smells like heaven….or an old man.